A Look On The Lighter Side: A ‘Good-Enough’ book review

0
A Look On The Lighter Side: A ‘Good-Enough’ book review

I have just started reading a very interesting book, “The Good-Enough Life,” by Avram Alpert.

Alpert is a philosopher, both by trade and by inclination, and also currently a lecturer in Princeton University’s writing program. I heard him recently in an interview by WNYC’s Allison Stewart and was immediately intrigued.

Alpert’s thesis is that our American obsession with being “the best,” or what he calls “the greatness worldview,” is a poison — and not only to our individual happiness, but to the health and well-being of the entire world.

“I used to aspire to greatness,” he begins, first as a young athlete and later as a writer. But “I have come to think that personal quests for greatness and, perhaps even more important the unequal social systems that fuel these quests, are at the heart of much that is wrong in our world.”

Even if we opt out of the quest for “best” for ourselves — we can’t all win the Olympics — we still talk about doing our “personal best” or “living our best life.” It’s all around us, says Alpert, and it’s doing us harm. We should strive instead to be “good enough.”

As soon as I heard “good enough,” I was all ears. I spent much of my 20s arguing with my first therapist, who drove me CRAZY by insisting that “Good enough is good enough.”

“Of course, it isn’t,” I insisted back. “Nobody puts out a job listing, looking for a ‘good enough researcher,’ or a ‘pretty good fact-checker.’ For that matter, would you hire a ‘mostly competent airplane pilot’? A ‘probably good-enough brain surgeon? Hardly.”

But my real problem was that for all of my life, up till then, I had been dedicated to chasing that elusive label of “Best.” Every report card I had to have not just A’s, but “straight A’s.” My father was the kind of parent who would ask, “What’s this B-plus doing here?” but to be honest, at some point, it became at least as much my obsession as his. It wasn’t enough — for me that I got into Yale ; I was then massively displeased with myself that the best I could manage there was a 3.5 GPA.

Not bad, you might say. But I wasn’t happy.

I am very sorry that that first therapist of mine passed away before I could get back to her — before I had matured enough to say, “Oh, my God, you were so right. Thank you for trying, with me. I finally get it.”

What brought me around? My children, of course.

Not in the early years. Back then I still had some delusions that it was worth trying to be “perfect,” if only because my children were — how did I ever produce such astonishingly gorgeous little creatures? — and it would be unforgivable to fail them.

No, what brings you around is when they’re older and rolling their eyes at you, pointing out your every failing. “I am tired of telling you slobs to bring your plates back to the kitchen,” you rant.

“But Mom — didn’t you notice? Yours is the only plate still on the table.”

And sure enough, that was true.

That was just the beginning — of learning that I drive badly and don’t know the right-of-way rules; I never leave my glasses twice in the same place; I forget people’s names (who doesn’t?). The list of my flaws is endless. And exhausting.

That’s when you realize that just being “good enough” isn’t a failure, it’s a VICTORY! My favorite moment of the original “Roseanne” show was when her husband complained about something or other when he got home from work, and she snapped, “Are the kids still alive? Then I’ve done my job for the day.”

In “The Good-Enough Life,” Alpert reviews philosophies from Confucianism to Buddhism, from Marxism to Aristotle, taking lessons from each. I was especially startled by his reminder that even in the Bible, after each day of creation, God surveys God’s handiwork. “And (God) saw that it was… perfect? No. Great? No. Excellent? No. It is none of these things. It was ‘good.’ ”

So — if “good” is good enough for God, who are we to disagree?

I have to confess something to you: I haven’t finished reading this book. And yet even so, I am recommending it because as far as I have gotten (halfway), it is plenty “Good-Enough” to improve your day.

No posts to display

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here