The Back Road: Random advice from the Twittersphere

The Back Road: Random advice from the Twittersphere

By Andy Malekoff

There is much speculation about what tycoon Elon Musk will do with Twitter now that he has a controlling interest in the microblogging and social networking powerhouse.

Musk has been tweeting some of his thoughts on free speech – the “bedrock of democracy,” he says.

He referred to Twitter as “the town square where matters to the future of humanity are debated.” To “deserve public trust,” he added, Twitter “must be politically neutral, which effectively means upsetting the far left and far right equally.”

Does that make Musk sheriff of the town square? We shall see.

In the meantime, I came across a Twitter user who identifies himself as @WillieHandler, a “Canadian humorist and author.” Willie posted this: “I’m looking for some random advice. I don’t need any, just want random advice.”

Advice from everyday people sounded like more fun than musings about where the Twitterverse is headed under a billionaire. So, below is some random advice people tweeted to Willie on food, gardening, self-care, parenthood, and more.


“Always leave a little on your plate if it was a good meal.” To which someone responded to clarify, “if you have room for more, you will get more no matter how much you argue.”

“Don’t salt fresh soft-shelled blue crab or fresh fish before frying in a cast-iron skillet. Salt only after it is done cooking. Salt leaches out the moisture causing it to be dry & can cause it to spit.”

“When cooking or baking, clean up as you go.”

“When in doubt, add cheese.”

“Never fry bacon while naked.”


“When you cut the top off of a pineapple, then cut another inch or two? until you see dots around the outside. Stick this in a cup of water and in three weeks you will have a rooted pineapple which will grow another pineapple.”

“When your roses bloom, petals fall off, clip the stem from where the dry remains are left. Watch out, the rose bush will take off. Do this from Spring to Autumn.”

“When planting tomato plants, put a couple antacid tablets in the hole before you place the plant.”


“If you have a baby, don’t tiptoe and whisper while they nap. Carry on as usual. That way they get used to napping through noise.” To which this confirmation followed: “This is great advice! I kept the TV on when my son napped. Nineteen years later and he can still sleep through almost anything.”

“Find day care close to work, not close to home. That way you don’t have to go all the way toward home to pick up the kid if you have errands to run in between work and home!”

“Tell your children that you love them, even when they are adults.”

“Kids need you even more when they’re teenagers.”


“Always make your bed in the morning and you never will have a day where you don’t accomplish at least one thing.”

“Stay hydrated–people are regularly dehydrated which is hard on all major organs and makes you tired and irritable.”

“All of your socks should be exactly the same. You won’t need to waste time searching for pairs when folding laundry.”

“Don’t rush home from a work trip. Take an extra day or two to actually visit the place, because while you think you’ll be back, you won’t.”

“You don’t need to squeeze a bunch of toothpaste onto your brush. Only a small dab will do the trick.”

“When parking on a decline, turn your tires towards the curb, grass etc. Just in case of brake failure.”

“Don’t get into debt. Pay off your mortgage asap. Always have your own bank account.”

“See a dermatologist for a complete skin check once a year.”

“You don’t have to tell your husband everything.”


“Everyone you interact with has a lifetime of memories, experiences, worries, and grief you cannot see nor will ever know. Be kind and patient. What looks like anger is usually fear.”

“Just because someone wants to have a particular conversation with you does NOT mean you are obligated to participate.”

“Learning to apologize sincerely when you are wrong will save you a ton of problems.”

“When you’re too close to anything, it gets blurry. Back up so you can see clearly.”

“If you are a giver know your limits because takers don’t have any.”

“Never mistake kindness for weakness or silence for ignorance.”

“Surround yourself with one positive person. It is helpful.”

“Always feel comfortable with asking for advice.”

“Never miss an opportunity to say nothing.”

“Never let yesterday fill up today.”

“Life is too short to be small.”

“Always trust your gut.”

“Persistence is key!”


“When you’re on the end of unsolicited advice, smile slightly, nod slightly, like you’re taking it all in. Thank the person for the advice, and then go do whatever in the hell you were gonna do anyway.”

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