Welcome again to another episode of Larry Penner’s Bizarre Universe, LIC Edition.

The author states the LIRR LIC station is just down the block from the number 7 train, both the Vernon Jackson and Hunter’s Point Station. The train continues to GCT Madison. GCT Madison is 15 stories below. Fair enough.

Then, states the author, it’s also within walking distance to the EDC ferries. So as opposed to continuing your journey on the LIRR to GCT Madison, you should switch at LIC to the number 7 train. 24/7. 3 – 5 minutes and you’ll be at Grand Central Station.

Even for Larry Penner this is so bizarre it’s practically impossible to put into words.

First, how long of a walk is it to either station? The author leaves out this pesky detail. Second, upon arrival, is there any guarantee the 7 train will be waiting in the station for the passenger? Is Mr. Penner saying you will never have to wait for a Manhattan bound train?

Third, Mr. Penner has been advocating for nine years now to reopen the Hilton Passageway/Gimbels Corridor because it would protect transferring riders from the elements.

Let’s ignore the fact that the price tag for this project has not gone up since Mr. Penner originally posted his opinion piece on it while the price tag for projects he is against goes up year by year.

Let’s also ignore a woman was brutally raped and robbed in it and it would become a homeless magnet. Mr. Penner has been advocating for a downtown Flushing intermodal bus terminal to protect transferring riders from the elements.

Let’s ignore the fact that it would cost billions and Mr. Penner does not feel there should be any system expansion until every element of the current system is corrected, repaired, in good working order.

I guess Mr. Penner feels customers in Manhattan and downtown Flushing should be protected from the elements but customers in Long Island City should not.

Fourth, the aforementioned subway stations are in relatively desolate locations. I guess customers transferring to the Long Island City subway stations at 1 a.m. are somehow immune from crime? As are passengers going to an isolated ferry dock in the middle of the night?

Mr. Penner feels it’s at least eight minutes from GCT Madison to the street. Reporters have pegged this as more like five to eight minutes. But regardless: wouldn’t the amount of time it would take to walk to either No. 7 train station and catch the No. 7 train – and we all know the chance of the train being there waiting for the customer is about zero – more than eclipse the amount of time it would take to ride the LIRR train all the way?

Not to mention the amount of time it would take for a ferry to come to whisk the customer by water to the very East Side of Manhattan to likely take a bus to the next destination?

Welcome to Larry Penner’s Bizarre Universe. Mr. Penner says anything to satisfy his insatiable desire to see his name in print.

If Mr. Penner is in favor of something no pesky details matter. If Mr. Penner is against something the devil is in the details. Mr. Penner has truly outdone himself with Larry Penner’s Bizarre Universe, LIC Edition.

Nat Weiner

Bronx