Finding the right sport is a lot like finding the right spouse. You had better be compatible if the match is going to flourish.  So how does a person know if they chose the right sport to play?  The fit between a person and a sport is not trivial.

Every parent in America is tasked with the problem of which sport to expose their child to.   Introduction to a sport is often dictated by the parent or an older sibling who plays the sport. In addition, selection is dictated by where you live. If you were raised in Brooklyn,  you saw more basketball courts then you did golf courses. If you lived in Melbourne, Australia, chances are you saw plenty of water growing up and fell in love with either swimming or surfing. Have you ever noticed how many Olympic swimmers are from Australia?

But ultimately, no matter what sport your family played and no matter where you were raised , the compatibility between a person’s temperament and the sport’s inherent demands must match up if you are to have a long-lasting and successful relationship with your sport.

In my case I was a pretty good Little League baseball player, but when it was time to enter the Babe Ruth League at age 13,  I got one look at the wildness of those oversized Babe Ruth pitchers and said to myself:   “Oh,  it’s time to start playing golf.” That may be because I was either extremely smart or extremely cowardly but ever since my first round of golf, it really was a match made in heaven.

Every American sport will require a certain kind of personality trait:

Golf, the ultimate mind game:  Golf is a cerebral game that demands a steady demeanor and is made for people who don’t mind being alone. You can play by yourself so you don’t need to organize a contingent of your peers to enjoy the game. The perfect golfing personality is Tiger Woods, cool, aloof, a loner and smart.

Basketball, the game for the Fast and Furious:   It’s March Madness time so lets deconstruct the game of basketball. I once asked the NY Knicks star Dave DeBusschere  whether he thought basketball was physical. He looked down at me and said, “Well, Doc, I’ve had my nose broken seven times. Does that answer your question?” To love basketball you have to be able to penetrate to the basket, which means you must be willing to get hurt.

Baseball,   America’s sport: Baseball has a leisurely pace so you had better have a patient nature if you are to enjoy this sport. Joe DiMaggio was a friend of my dad’s. He described  “Joltin Joe” as the quiet shy type. DiMaggio’s only real mistake in life was marrying Marilyn Monroe, a woman who brought noise, attention and chaos.

Tennis, boxing but without the blood:  I think tennis is the most demanding sport every created. It requires stamina, a good attention span, cat-like quickness, decisiveness, being able to adapt to each opponent and a killer instinct. Jimmy Conners, and John McEnroe are good examples of the tennis personality.

Lacrosse, a sport made for the American personality:  Lacrosse is a quintessentially American sport requiring speed, creativity and confidence. The lacrosse culture has a pure jock-type atmosphere but with a taste of upper class arrogance. You may recall the Duke University lacrosse scandal of a few years ago where some wealthy lacrosse guys were caught partying a little too hard. It took a lot of high-priced lawyers to resolve that mess.

Soccer, “the beautiful game:” Soccer demands an almost other worldly ability to sense, feel and connect with teammates as you play.  The common American traits of rugged individualism and narcissism do not match up with soccer’s requirements of team connection, which is the reason we don’t seem to dominate this sport. The Europeans from England, France, Germany, Spain and Italy and the South Americans from Brazil all seem to have that creative flair and ability to play as a team, the trait  that soccer demands.

So as I said, both in sports and in marriage,  if you want to fall in love and stay in love, you had better be compatible, sympatico and in sync.  Choose you sport and your spouse wisely if you want to have a lifelong affair that makes you happy.